There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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