Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You did what with his pubic hair?
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