is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
