If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
