ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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