I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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