i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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