I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
