he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
