Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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