He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
