piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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