i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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