This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
