break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
