...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
