he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
