But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
