We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
