I wish i was in the wii world.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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