your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
