I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't think brook has ever known best
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
