I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
