Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
