its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
