He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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