just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
