No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's Friday. Sex?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
