I just pynch a tree in the face
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
