I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
