Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize