Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize