oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
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The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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