I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
