The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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