why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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