Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
