ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
