i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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