I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
