I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
