In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
