I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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