Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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(850): View more from Florida

Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.

Fav 14 1190 3292
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(804): View more from Virginia

I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.

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(818): View more from California

You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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(760): View more from California

Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!

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(909): View more from California

I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?

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