Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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