My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
