Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
