I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
