So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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