butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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