I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
