Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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