just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
