Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
...so i touched it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
