ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
