Sponge bath it is.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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