i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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