All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
