Your dad touched me again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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