woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
