I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
