sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize