glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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