i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
