Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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