He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
